Insomnia

I love to sleep. It is a luxury. I like to get 8 hours or more each night. I love falling asleep when you are so tired that you can’t wait to relax your body in your comfy bed. The feeling when you are just falling asleep and your mind is sort of awake but drifting away from reality. I love when you get to sleep in and you keep waking up and falling back – in and out of consciousness….bliss.

*sigh*

Then there is the other end of the spectrum for me. I’ve always had trouble with the getting to sleep part of bedtime. Unless I am utterly exhausted and my body gives in I can sometimes lay awake for hours trying to drift off. I lay in bed with my brain running around in circles and jutting off into branches of thoughts that plague me constantly. I have several things that I try to make me tired so I can fall into sleep as soon as possible. I read one of the several books that I have on the go, or I work on puzzles. I have tried listening to soothing music or sounds to make me feel calm and relaxed. The odd thing about music is that I cannot fall asleep with it on. I am a very light sleeper and need absolute quiet. Being a light sleeper may have it’s advantages, but when the dog next door barks in the middle of the night, I wake up. When my husband turns over or gets up in the night, I wake up. If there is a ticking clock in the room I have to move it or will not be able to sleep. Noisy cars outside have woken me up in the past, but we live in a nice quiet neighbour hood so it’s not a problem lately. Sleepy time tea is far better than dark tea to drink at night, but then I have to go to the bathroom to relieve myself. I have tried doing stretches or exercises to wind down my body, but most of the time I forget. Once I am in bed and comfortable, I don’t want to get up to do anything.

But the insomnia that I have suffered for several years comes and goes. Sometimes I will go through a few nights of just not sleeping for very long. A few hours here and there. It can last for days or weeks, and can get very difficult to concentrate during the day during that time. I have wandered around the house a few times just not knowing what else to do. I’ve read so much on the subject, and some of the remedies do help. The RLS is what gets me the most. When my legs won’t stop moving and I can’t find a comfortable position to lay in, it gets really frustrating. I don’t want to toss and turn all night and keep my husband from getting a good night sleep, so I usually get up and go to the other room. It’s when my legs actually hurt and nothing I do will make them stop hurting. I wonder if something is wrong with me. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does it is painful and hard to deal with. I have researched RLS and read a lot of material on it.

The brain not shutting off is probably the worst insomnia causer. If something is happening in the near future, I will worry or analyze or think it to death. I try to use mantras to get my mind off of things that I should think about in the morning, instead of late at night. Why worry about something that you can’t do anything about at the time? It’s a waste of energy. Plus you are losing valuable sleep time for your body to rejuvenate itself. I have always wished that I had a ‘shut off’ button for my brain. Perhaps I would forget to turn it back on though? Pros and cons to this idea for sure. Maybe a ‘stop thinking so much’ button for when I need to rest and relax. Meditation works well, but I find that having someone else walk me through the meditation works best. I suppose I could download some meditations and put them on a CD to listen to at night. That sounds like a good idea.

When I can sleep and don't suffer from insomnia it is bliss.

Now I just have to deal with the snore monster who sleeps beside me !